A New Wave Of Holiday Traditions

Photo by Nikola Johnny Mirkovic on Unsplash

How do you feel about holiday traditions? Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the holidays, and there’s something special about upholding family traditions throughout the years. But sometimes, we get so caught up in the holiday traditions that we forget to step back and check in with ourselves to see if they’re still serving us.

2020 derailed several of our traditions. We suddenly found ourselves unable to attend regular events, certain activities were closed, and limitations were placed on who we could visit. For many people, this was the first time they had to reimagine what the holidays meant to them and looked like. 

Since it’s looking like there will be fewer restrictions this year, and life is getting back to normal, I felt like it was a good time to discuss the holidays. 

Many of us may not have thought of the possibility of switching up the holidays until the world forced us to. As we get excited to start back up our traditions, I think it’s also a good opportunity to reimagine our current and future traditions. This doesn't mean everything needs to be changed. But before we start jumping back into every tradition we once did, let's check in with ourselves to make sure what we're doing still works for us and we still enjoy it.

If you’re not sure how to do this, allow me to break it down. It doesn’t need to be complicated at all, just a little self-reflection and boundary setting

Also read: 8 Holiday Wellness Tips You Need in 2021

Evaluate Your Holiday Traditions

Step back to examine the holiday traditions you follow. Which traditions do you enjoy? Which traditions do you feel obligated to partake in? Which traditions would you feel sad without? Which traditions would you feel fine without? Which traditions leave you feeling low or uncomfortable? It’s important to be as transparent with yourself as possible, so give yourself time to process your thoughts and feelings.

Identify Areas To Change Things Up

After you’ve evaluated which holiday traditions are working and which aren’t, it’s time to identify areas where you can change things up. Is there a way you can make things more enjoyable? Is there a way you can fit things into your life easier? 

This may take some creativity, so if you’re not too sure where to begin, allow me to share some examples.

1. THE MENU

For most of my life, holiday dinners have been associated with turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes - and don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love it. However, it’s important to acknowledge that just because it’s a tradition, that doesn’t mean it’s the only thing to eat during the holidays. I know that there are a lot of people who enjoy cooking a large dinner, but if you find it overwhelming, let's look at ways to take some work off of your plate. You can plan a simpler dinner of finger foods and appetizers, switch up things entirely (such as a vegan dinner), or ask more people to bring dishes. Even a holiday tradition as big as the menu can be adjusted to fit your needs.

2. ACTIVITIES

You’re allowed to switch up what you do during the holidays, even if you’ve spent every year doing such things as travelling or going to church. It’s perfectly acceptable to stick to switching things up and have a PJ night, decorate some cookies, or do something relaxing instead. Make the holidays work for you, as opposed to the other way around.

3. GATHERINGS

As difficult as it may be, I want to remind you that it’s okay to sit out of gatherings, limit how long you go for, or change things up in general. We may feel an obligation to attend everything we’re invited to, but sometimes it can be too much for us. Say no to gatherings that leave you feeling drained. Say no to gatherings if you’re feeling overbooked. Say no to gatherings that you don’t want to go to. No is not a bad word - sometimes we just need to remind ourselves to say it.

4. GIFTS

Gift can feel incredibly difficult during the holidays, especially if you’re in the habit of buying gifts for nearly everyone you know. You’re allowed to change up who you buy for. Of course, this will take a little communication with those in your life, but you can always try something like secret Santa instead, making homemade gifts, or opting out of gifts entirely. Get creative and communicate your needs for those in your life.

Set Boundaries

It’s important to remember that no one can read our minds, so unless we actively set boundaries, people won’t know how we feel. If you are new to boundaries, they can feel incredibly overwhelming or even disrespectful to enforce. But I’d like to remind you that boundaries are important. We all have a limit of what we can take on and what we can’t - implementing a boundary is sort of like a safety net. We’re moving our limit up a bit to avoid burnout or overstretching ourselves. Here are three tips for how to implement boundaries.

1. BE KIND

Our boundaries are generally well thought out - we've had time to come to grips with what we need or what things would look like. However, this may not be the case for those we're telling. In fact, they may even feel like it's coming out of nowhere. So we need to remember that changing up something like a holiday tradition may come as a huge shock. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't set the boundary, but it's a good reminder to be kind in our messaging. The best way to have your point listened to is to be kind. Make sure you don't attack or guilt anyone - address it in a kind manner.

2. BE CLEAR

In addition to being kind, it is also important to be clear. For example, let’s say your friend invites you out for a coffee date, but you’re feeling drained by the busyness of the holidays, it’s important to be clear when explaining you can't go. This doesn’t mean you need to disclose exactly what’s going on, but it is to say that you shouldn’t make up a reason why it won’t work. If you tell them you can’t make it because you’re busy at that time, they may understand and try to reschedule. However, saying something along the lines of “thank you so for the offer, but I won’t be able to get together during the holidays this year. Things are really busy and I need to make sure I’m not over-exerting myself. Can we get together in the new year?” is much more clear.

3. BE FIRM

A lot of people aren’t used to boundaries for several reasons - stay firm in your decision. When we sway in our boundaries, we are showing others that they don’t need to be followed. You are responsible for setting the boundary in a kind and clear manner, but they are responsible for how they process it and respect it. Stay firm in your messaging, and remember that your needs are valid.

Happy holidays!