Boundaries you should be setting in your life
Setting healthy boundaries is a crucial part of our personal and physical well-being. However, when we’re new to them, they may feel foreign, or we may not know where to start.
Let’s use the age-old airplane analogy to explain healthy boundaries. Before you take off, the flight attendant stands at the front of the plane, explaining that you’re supposed to put your oxygen mask on first in the event of an emergency before attempting to help anyone else. This includes before you help your kids, elderly parents, and strangers alike. They understand that in the event of an emergency, you will have a much easier time getting a mask on a frightened child when you aren’t gasping for air at the same time. Flight attendants need to explicitly remind us before we take off because it goes against our every instinct. We want to help the people we love, especially if they’re struggling, but we can’t do it at our own expense. Plus, we won’t be able to help others as easily or effectively if our own needs aren’t met.
Boundaries help you care for yourself because they help define and set your limits. When you’re new to setting them, however, they can feel overwhelming or even confusing. Here are a couple of examples of healthy boundaries you can implement in your life, but remember to take them as a foundation. It’s important to pay attention to your own needs and add or adapt boundaries accordingly.
Remember it’s okay to say no
Do you ever find yourself saying yes to things you don’t want to go to or taking on extra projects at work that you don’t have the time for? There can be a ton of feelings associated with the word no, making it feel difficult to say. Get comfortable with saying no. Say no to things you find draining, say no to things that make you feel uncomfortable, or even just say no if you want time to rest and recharge. Getting comfortable with saying no to smaller events can make you more comfortable with saying no to bigger obligations, including larger work obligations or personal situations.
Set clear limits with your email
We all have found ourselves checking our email during the evening or a weekend from time to time. Not only are our emails extremely accessible, but many of us have also been working from home for the better part of a year. The lines between personal-life and work-life can sometimes feel a little blurred. Because of this, it’s important to set healthy boundaries with your email. Block out times in your calendar to avoid checking your email, set notification limits so you aren’t constantly bombarded by them, or even remove the app from your phone during the weekend altogether. The goal of setting healthy boundaries is to find a system that works for you, so what is needed will vary from person to person.
Don’t take on more than you can do
Have you ever agreed to something that excited you at the time, but later realized you didn’t have the time, energy, or resources to finish it? The reality is that sometimes we stretch ourselves thin by trying to accomplish everything ourselves. Outsource help where you can, delegate projects to other people, or say no in the first place.
Unfollow or mute accounts on social media that make you feel bad
Social media was initially designed as a fun place to connect with your friends and family members. Since then, there has been a ton of pressure created, including who we should be following and what we should be posting. If you leave social media feeling worse than you started, you may wish to evaluate who you are following. You can unfollow people altogether, or even mute accounts so you don’t see their posts anymore. Muting an account basically just means you will still be following the person, but their posts won’t show up on your home feed. Regardless of what you choose, remember that you are allowed to be in control of your experience, and to set the boundaries you need to take care of yourself.
Take breaks when you need to
Just in case you need to hear this today, slow progress is still progress: it’s okay if you need to take a break. Sometimes we get into this mindset that we need to be constantly busy or productive to feel fulfilled or validated, but that’s just not necessarily the case. Yes, it’s important to have goals to strive towards, but you need to make sure you’re able to take care of yourself along the journey. Either schedule breaks for yourself along the journey, or create systems to take a break if you need to. Allotting yourself downtime may feel like an uncomfortable or foreign boundary, to begin with, but other times you’ll find that it helps to feel recharged and able to tackle the task at hand.