5 Tips to Help You Reduce Caregiver Fatigue
Photo by: Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash
Throughout my years of being a nurse, I’ve seen the impact caregivers truly have on the lives around them. Caregivers are typically a close friend or family member who is caring for someone who is elderly, sick, or unable to care for themselves. They are doing a selfless and rewarding job, but not without their own challenges.
Caregiving is often thankless work. People may praise a caregiver for their kindness and dedication, or possibly even make comments about how they could never do it, but very rarely is the work itself acknowledged, and the stress of the role is often forgotten. The reality is that the world of caregiving may be extremely foreign to a lot of people. Many caregivers don’t get a break or have a support system in general, which can make them quite susceptible to stress and burnout, which is referred to as caregiver fatigue.
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Caregiver fatigue is very common, so I first want to say that your struggles, stress, and feelings are valid, even if it doesn't feel like it. The reality is that, while caregiving is one of the most rewarding roles in the world, it also can take a toll on your mental health. Many caregivers can carry around a ton of guilt with them, from feeling like they aren’t doing enough, to comparing themselves to others, to trying to figure out their own issues, which makes the role even more difficult than it already is [Source: Caregiver]. It can be difficult for them to ask for help or prioritize their own needs, making them feel even more burnt out.
Boundaries
Before I share helpful tips for reducing the impact of caregiver fatigue, I’d like to first explain the importance of boundaries. For many people, the word boundary can feel uncomfortable or even foreign. Boundaries hold a bad reputation for people who believe they are rude, disrespectful, or should be reserved for extreme situations when in reality, they’re actually a healthy tool.
Whether you realize it or not, we all have boundaries in every area of our lives - some are just more defined than others. For example, if you constantly answer a friend’s phone call, even if it wakes you up in the night or takes you away from work, but you don’t answer it in an exam, that’s technically a boundary: the boundary is that you are constantly available to speak with them unless you’re in an exam. It may feel like you’re being a kind and compassionate friend, but the reality is that it wouldn’t be a healthy relationship. Instead of being readily available, a healthy boundary may look like setting aside a specific time to talk in the evenings.
Boundaries protect relationships by making sure that your needs are met and accounted for before tending to other obligations. The reality is that it’s impossible to give yourself to other things before you are taken care of first. You can’t give out your homemade chocolate chip cookies if you haven't made them. You can’t be there for someone else if you are not there for yourself first.
As I mentioned earlier, caregiving can bring with it a ton of stress and guilt, which may make setting boundaries feel even more foreign or uncomfortable. I promise you that not only is it healthy to set boundaries, but it can also be done in a kind and compassionate way. It’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to protect your energy. I’m going to share with you 5 ways to reduce the impact of caregiver fatigue, and I want you to use these as a foundation for boundaries in your own life.
5 Ways to Help You Reduce the Impact of Caregiver Fatigue
1. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR NEEDS
This one may feel obvious, but I believe it’s still important. How often do you check in with yourself? And I mean really check in with yourself. To spend an evening journalling or meditating to really zone in on what’s going on. What areas are working? Where do you need help? A lot of us may struggle to ask for help or acknowledge our own limitations because we simply don’t know they exist in the first place.
2. FILL IN THE GAPS/ASK FOR HELP
Once you’ve spent time acknowledging what your needs really are, it’s important to fill in the gaps and ask for help. Start by making a plan: look into the resources available to you. Get creative, and trust that the solution is out there.
3. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
You still have your own daily needs, even if you are caring for someone else. This may look like getting creative with your time - depending on your schedule, this could look like waking up 15 minutes earlier or staying up 15 minutes later. Use this time to tend to your own needs. Journal if you enjoy journaling, read if you enjoy reading, do yoga if you enjoy doing yoga - whatever it is, make it your allocated me-time.
4. SCHEDULE TIME OUT OF THE HOUSE
Everybody needs a break, this does not make you lazy or bad. When students are studying for exams, it’s recommended that frequent breaks actually helps them retain the information better. Employers are obligated to give their employees a break during their shift for the exact same reason. We wouldn’t consider a student or employee lazy for taking a few minutes to themselves, so we shouldn’t consider a caregiver lazy for needing out of the house. The issue a lot of caregivers face is that they’re constantly tending to the needs of someone else when they are home - there is very little opportunity to take a proper break. However, being able to remove yourself from the situation itself may be the break you need. Of course, this will depend on your current situation and may involve getting help to watch the person you’re caring for, but it will be worth it.
5. SPEAK TO OTHERS
Caregiving is often thankless or unappreciated work that most people aren’t used to, which can make it feel isolating. Create a support system with people who understand it and that you trust. Speak with people who have gone through something similar as a reminder that you are not alone. Speak with a professional who can help you work through your emotions and find areas in your life to prioritize your own needs. Despite how it may feel in the moment, you are not alone.