10 Reasons Why It’s Important to Not Compare Yourself to Others

Photo by Artem Kovalev

Have you ever found yourself feeling bad about yourself because your kitchen wasn't as clean as so-and-so, or your car doesn’t have the latest features? Comparison is tricky because it can easily happen without even realizing it. We can easily judge others based on our own standards, and likewise, judge ourselves based on what standards others appear to have. It’s a vicious cycle.

With the holidays quickly approaching, and with that can come even more comparisons. Folks may find themselves comparing the gifts they give, the food they cook, or the decorations they hang with those around them. However, very rarely does comparison leave us feeling good. So the year, I wanted to share with you some reasons why it’s important to not compare yourself to others. While your life may look different than someone else’s, it’s yours, and that makes it important and valid. 

10 Reasons Why It’s Important to Not Compare Yourself to Others 

1. Life is not a competition

At the end of your life, you are not handed a prize for having the cleanest kitchen, the biggest house, or the fanciest vacation because life is not a competition. There are no winners or losers, just folks trying to make the most out of the time they have.

2. You never know what’s going on behind the scenes 

Sometimes what you see on the surface isn’t an accurate representation of what’s going on behind the scenes. You may see someone always getting new gadgets or going on fancy vacations, but they may be in debt. Similarly, the person who appears to live a modest life may be keeping the wealth private. But the point is that you can’t compare because you don’t actually know what’s going on.

3. You are excelling in ways unimaginable to others

There are people out there who dream of having something you have: whether it’s the best friend who always listens, a job in your field, a parent or grandparent who is alive, a pet, access to food and water - the list goes on. So while you compare yourself to others, remember that others are comparing themselves to you. 

4. Everyone defines success differently 

Some base success on monetary value, whereas others base it off of family and personal connection. No one definition is more valid than the other, just as no one experience is more valid than the other. 

5. Our failures can often lead to opportunities

It’s been said that when one door closes, another one opens because sometimes the things we thought we wanted aren’t actually what we needed. 

6. We need to find solutions that work for us, instead of fitting a mould 

When you go to a restaurant and look at the menu, you’re met with countless different options. Why? Because not everyone wants to eat the same thing. From preferences to food allergies, we all have different requirements. If that’s the case for something as simple as eating out, why wouldn’t it be the case for other areas of our lives, too? Just because you see something working for someone else doesn’t mean it needs to work for you. 

7. Life would be boring if we all were the exact same

I knew pretty young that I wanted to be a nurse, so when it was time to graduate high school, it was a no-brainer that I would pursue that path. I absolutely loved it and thought it was a great career, but for someone afraid of needles or blood, it could be quite a different experience. We all have different strong suits which are what keep the world moving. If everyone wanted to be a nurse, there would be no one to grow our food, make and distribute our goods, provide entertainment, etc. Not only would life be boring, nothing would get done. Being good at different things is vital. 

8. Growth looks different for everyone

One of the things that makes a garden so beautiful is variety: different heights, colours, sizes, shapes and smells. We would never judge a tulip for not growing as tall as a sunflower, so why would we judge ourselves by someone else? Growth looks different for everyone - it happens at different times, with different opportunities and different circumstances. One opportunity does not devalue the next, it simply just exists. 

9. Everyone has their struggles, even folks who look like they don’t 

Every single person will face struggles in their life, and a lot of them don’t always publicly show it. In fact, with the rise of social media, many folks are curating their lives online to make it appear like they have no struggles at all, but that’s just simply not possible all the time. Whether it looks like it or not, we all have struggles. 

10. Your best is enough

Some days we may feel strong and can get a lot done, while other days the simplest tasks may feel difficult: your best, regardless of what it looks like, is enough and should not be shamed.